<---- I did it!!!

I'm overly excited for myself. I'm married to a computer programmer. He just doesn't understand why everyone can't code. So, I decided to try to figure out how to put my own links over there in the side bar and I DID IT! lol.

Over there you will see a link to my new website for my photography business and a link to the home page for the LDS church.

Woot!

A letter -

Dear Auntie Rae,

Thank you for teaching me "Down By the Bay." I havn't stopped singing it all day today and I'm driving my mother mad.

Sincerely,
Aria

Things that make me want to cuss

I don't cuss. Not out loud anyway. But I occasionally have to battle my own head to keep the words inside. Especially if it's been "one of those days."

So....things that make me want to cuss. If you have any control over these things, please take note.

1. Garage doors. More specifically, my garage door. It opens just fine, but it randomly refuses to close. I push the button and it goes down about 2 inches, then back up. I sigh, push the button again and the teasing begins. It'll go down 3 feet, then back up. Sometimes it'll make it almost all the way down. I'm watching, with baited breath, 3 feet away from the the ground, 2 feet, 1 foot (I'm thinking YES!)....and it goes back up. There is a trick to make it close, but it's annoying and makes me want to cuss.

2. Willful disobedience. Like when I say to a child "don't dump those blocks out" and I get stared in the eye while said child slowly turns the block bucket over onto the floor and walks away. @#$%&

3. World of Warcraft. I can't even think the title of this game without attaching a cuss word in front of it. When referring to it out loud, I call it "that dumb game". I hate it. It sucks time and money straight into the computer and leaves people who don't play wondering where they fall on the players list of priorities.

4. Cats. 'nuff said.

Keeping myself honest

I made a goal this year. I've noticed when I make a goal and keep it to myself, it's less likely to be accomplished. But if I get up and say "Dave, I'm going to fold that mountain of clean laundry and put it away today", it will usually get done.

So, my goal is to read the entire standard works by December 31st. I'm currently in Genesis. lol. But now that I've admitted my goal, hopefully I will hold myself accountable.

Speaking of Genesis, there are some weird stories in there. I slept through seminary and have spent most of my married years in primary (therefore missing studying the OT in Sunday School) and while it's not exactly "new" to me. I've never really read it and thought about it myself.

So, Laban's a jerk. Laban as in Rachel and Leah's dad, Jacob's Father-in-law. Patriarch of some serious dysfunction. Jacob offers to work for him for seven years so he can marry Rachel and Laban tricks him into marrying Leah. So, he works another seven years and gets to marry Rachel. In the meantime Leah is having babies for him to try and make him love her more, but it's not working too well. Once he marries Rachel and she's barren, Rachel makes him marry her handmaiden so she can pretend like she's giving him sons or something. Then Leah gets all ticked and makes him marry her handmaiden.

So, here's Jacob, with four hormonal women, all trying to win his favor by popping out the most kids, all the while he's working another six years for Laban in order to get cattle and goats and stuff. (Count it, that's 20 years for the old dude)

So Laban stiffs Jacob on the cow payment and Jacob decides to take his wives and kids and run away. (they also stole some idols from Laban...I don't get that part)

Laban goes after Jacob and when he catches up to him gets all ticked off and tries to claim all Jacob's household as his own. Wives, kids, cattle....Laban thinks it's all his and Jacob apparently worked for 20 years for nothing.

See? Jerk.

Wonder what I'll read today....

I forgot how bad it was

I'm sure you're all sick of hearing about my breastfeeding woes, but I feel so bad for my little guy! Just eating some stupid corn (that I don't even like that much) and I'm back to carrying around a towel everywhere I go.

Poor thing just randomly spews spit-up all over the place. (good thing we have laminate floors...makes clean up much easier).

It makes me want to just eat the TED for the next year while I'm nursing him, but I know I need to figure out his allergies. I just hate making him miserable.

No corn!

Corn is out. That was the first thing I tested back into my diet to see how Gabe would react. He's spitting up a ton again and his cheeks and chin are bright red again. Poor baby.

Also, can't do squash. It's not too bad going through me, but we gave him some baby food squash and his cheeks turned red while he was eating it.

Back to TED for a few more days...I think I'll try oats next.

My talk

It's long, but if you're bored...here's the talk I'm giving on Sunday.

Pascal said “The heart has its reasons, which reason knows nothing of.” In other words, things that seem illogical will make perfect sense once your mind catches up to what your heart already knows.

Alma 37:37 says “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good.” It doesn’t say counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will tell you all the details at once with complete explanations of everything you need to know so you can go forward without restraint. No, we must do as Nephi did and go forward being led by the spirit. We must exercise faith in what our heart, or our spirit, knows is true. This is the difference between the spiritual and the temporal.

Nearly every big decision I’ve ever made has been prompted by the spirit. About seven years ago, I thought I had my life all figured out. I had been dating a guy that was a new member. Since he was older than 19, he didn’t think he’d go on a mission, but after a year in the church he changed his mind and started preparing for a mission. I was 20 at the time and figured I could finish school and work as a photographer to save for my own mission the next year.

I went ahead and accepted a job as a traveling photographer. It was perfect, I didn’t have to worry about rent and other bills because I was on the road about 3 weeks of every month and the company paid for my hotel and other traveling expenses. When I wasn’t on the road I stayed with family. I traveled all over the NW and was very much enjoying my job. The pay was excellent and I was able to save quite a bit. After about 6 months on the road, however, I started to get a nagging feeling. I recognized it as the spirit telling me that something needed to change. As I prayed and read my scriptures I kept coming back to the same feeling. I needed to serve.

Since I was traveling, I was unable to hold a calling in my home ward. I went to church each Sunday wherever I happened to be, but I wasn’t in any one ward in order to serve. As the feeling intensified I decided to just go with it. I put in my 2 weeks notice and got ready to settle down again. My last job was close to my Aunt’s house which was where I was living at the time, so I was able to attend the singles ward where my records were.

My first day back, I ran into the institute director. He asked me if I would play the piano for the institute choir, and I agreed. After all, that’s why I quit my job. I was supposed to serve.

While all this was happening in my life, Dave had been attending BYU. He too, had an illogical prompting to leave school in the middle of a semester and go back home to his parents. So, without much thought, he packed up his Volkswagon Rabbit and drove home.

My first week playing the piano for the institute choir, I met Dave. Two weeks later, he proposed and 5 weeks after that, we were married in the Seattle Temple. Now, six years and three kids later, I’m so glad that we were both doing the things we needed to do to be close to the spirit and able to follow it’s promptings. However illogical they may have seemed at the time.

Dallin H. Oaks said: “We seek spirituality through faith, repentance, and baptism; through forgiveness of one another; through fasting and prayer; through righteous desires and pure thoughts and actions. We seek spirituality through service to our fellowmen; through worship; through feasting on the word of God, in the scriptures and the teachings of the living prophets. We attain spirituality through making and keeping covenants, through conscientiously trying to keep all the commandments of God. Spirituality is not acquired suddenly. It is the consequence of a succession of right choices. It is the harvest of a righteous life.

In the Gospel, there are a lot of good things we can be doing. By seeking spirituality, we can know what good things we should be doing for our own progression. We need to remember that just because something is right for us, doesn’t mean it’s right for somebody else.

We all know the story of Mary and Martha. Luke, chapter ten tells how the Savior came to a particular village:

“And a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part.”

Mary hath chosen that good part. Not the better part, not the right part, the good part.

The definition for good is: Being positive or desirable in nature; not bad or poor. I believe that Mary and Martha were both doing good things that they felt prompted to do. Serving the Savior with her food and hospitality was not the wrong thing to do. Martha may have needed a slight attitude adjustment, however. Maybe if she had simplified the meal, so that she wouldn’t feel resentment towards her sister for not helping, then they both could have done what they felt was right and both benefited from the presence of the Savior that much more. Neither was wrong in her choice of action. They were both good and the right choice for their individual progression.

We all make choices with the aid of the spirit that can result in different answers. For example: How long should we wait to have children? One couple feels they should start right away, another couple feels they should wait a few years. If the couples have spirituality in their lives, then they will receive the right or the good answer for themselves.

Some may ask, how do we know that the answer we received is from the spirit? D&C 9 teaches us how to recognize an answer to our prayers. We’re told that we should first, study it out in our mind. To me, this means studying the situation both spiritually and temporally. Read whatever you can and search your feelings. Then, we must ask if the answer we’ve come to is right. If it is, we will receive a burning in our bosom. If it’s not, we’ll receive a stupor of thought. For me, that means confusion. If I’m trying to make a decision and I feel conflicted in the answer, then I know it’s time to re-evaluate.

We’ve been taught that Satan can masquerade as an angel of light. So how can we know that the answer we received is from the spirit of God? You know those Sunday school answers? Pray, read your scriptures, and go to church. If we are baptized and following those simple commandments such as prayer and scripture study, then we maintain the light of Christ in our lives. We will have the ability to discern whether our answer comes from God or from Satan. D&C 96:36-37 says “The glory of God is intelligence, or in other words, light and truth. Light and truth forsake that evil one.” So, if we are living our life in accordance with God’s commandments, then we will maintain the light of Christ. Satan does not have that light. He can not give us the feeling of peace in our heart that the spirit of God can.

I had a lesson in this recently. I saw a midwife through my most recent pregnancy and was planning to give birth in an off-site birth center. I had felt all along that the best thing for this baby was for him to come naturally, without any medical interventions. My babies don’t waste any time once I’m in labor, so when my water broke, we headed right to the birth center. Once we got there, we found out that I was in what they call prodromal labor. It means that the contractions aren’t doing anything. So, we waited, and waited, and waited.

Something like 95% of women will go into labor on their own within 24 hours after their water breaks. However, the longer you wait, you increase the risk of infection to the baby, so most doctors will give you a drug to get labor going well before that 24 hour mark. After about 12 hours I found myself battling the temporal against the spiritual. I was making my husband, my family and my friends incredibly nervous because I insisted on going with my heart on this one. I asked for a blessing and was told that this baby would come naturally and to be patient. I clung to that promise as the hours continued to tick by.

Night came and I made the decision to keep waiting. We were home and I just kept praying that it would turn out okay. I knew I was doing the right thing though. Proverbs 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” My own understanding was that I was increasing the risk of complications by waiting, but I had to trust in the Lord. After all, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness and faith. I definitely had longsuffering, but I also had peace.

Finally, after 32 hours, and with more prayer, I made the decision to go to the hospital. I assumed that once I got there I would be given that drug to induce labor, but Heavenly Father held true to his promise. As were driving to the hospital, I went into labor. By the time we got there I was close to delivering. He was born about 30 minutes later, naturally, with no medical interventions. When he was born, he had some complications that needed the extra staff that the hospital had to offer and we discovered, based on his heart rate during contractions that if I had gotten that drug, it could have ended in a c-section and I personally wasn’t prepared for something like that. So when it was all said and done, it finally made logical sense. But getting to that point was difficult.

Exercising spirituality in our lives can also prepare us for things to come and give us the knowledge and empathy we need in life. When my daughter was about a year old, I got that nagging feeling again. This time I felt that it was about a child of mine. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I knew that something was going to happen to one of my kids that I wasn’t going to like. I also knew I didn’t have to worry about either of the kids I already had.

I asked my husband for a blessing and was admonished to pray and read my scriptures and attend the temple often for preparation and understanding. So I did. About six months later, I got pregnant. From the beginning, I knew that it was this child that I had been warned about. We had an ultrasound and saw the baby. We saw and heard the heartbeat and everything looked fine so I tried to put it out of my mind. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage during my second trimester.

Because I was prepared by the spirit, the initial blow of losing my baby was slightly less forceful. Since then, I’ve seen blessings that have come from that trial. My marriage was strengthened and I gained empathy. I was able to be there for my sister, when she had a miscarriage a year after I had mine. I understood in a way that other people couldn’t and I had a new understanding of spirituality and allowing God to work through me.

Dallin H. Oaks said “To be spiritually minded is to view and evaluate our experiences in terms of the enlarged perspective of eternity.”

First Samuel, chapter 25 tells a story of a woman who understands spirituality. She understands the eternal consequence of actions and intercedes in order to give someone else the opportunity to re-evaluate what he’s about to do. Her name is Abigail.

To paraphrase, after David slew Goliath, King Saul became jealous of him and tried to kill him. David had to escape into the wilderness and sustain himself. While there, other men, mostly fugitives, gathered to him.

While they were in the wilderness, David and his men protected the shepherds and flocks of a rich man named Nabal. They could have taken the sheep for their own sustenance, but they didn’t. The time came for Nabal to shear the sheep and gather some for food. The provisions that David and his men had were running low and they thought that their service to Nabal would be rewarded.

When it wasn’t, David sent ten young men to Nabal to remind him of their service to him and his household and ask for some provisions. “And Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, Who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? There be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master. Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?”

David and his men were understandably upset with this response and prepared to go in and battle Nabal to get provisions. One of the ten young men had told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, what was going to happen and she, being spiritual in nature, was able to intervene. Abigail took two hundred loaves, two bottles of wine, five sheep, five measures of parched corn, a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs and went with her servants to David and his men.

Once she arrived she bowed down before David and offered him the food that she brought and begged him not to fall upon Nabal’s household. But she was not only doing this to save her husband and her house. She was close to the spirit and understood that David must not carry that anger towards Nabal in his heart which would cause him to kill without cause.

“And David said to Abigail, blessed be the Lord God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand.”

Abigail understood the eternal significance of what was happening because she was living her life in a way that kept her close to the spirit. She was able to be an instrument for the Lord and help him do his work on this earth.

One of my favorite scriptures is 2 Nephi 9:39. It ends “Remember, to be carnally minded is death, and to be spiritually minded is life eternal.” The first letters of the last five words in that verse are S, M, I, L, E. So, to remember that to be spiritually minded is life eternal, just smile.

I'm tired

I read a book when I was a little girl. I don't remember what book it was, but I remember that one character wanted to know what someone was saying about her when she wasn't around. Somehow she was granted the ability to know and then she regretted it. Not only was she hurt by what was said, but she realized that she only had control over herself and her own actions. All she could do was treat others (whether they were there or not) the way she wanted to be treated. No good comes from knowing who's gossiping about you and what they're saying.

Yesterday was a long day and in the midst of that long day, I was asked to give a talk in church on Spirituality and Witnesses for God. So, I'll be working on that for the next couple days. I tend to talk too fast, so I need to come up with a lot of material to cover 15 minutes! Ack! Oh, and it's just me. Dave doesn't have to talk yet. How'd I get to be so lucky?

Happies and Crappies

Happies:
-I got a calling in my ward as ward music chairperson/ward chorister. It's an easy calling and will be nice while I still have young kids.

-I found a pacifier that Gabe will take. This is HUGE! This kid would put anything in his mouth except pacifiers. I'd put one in and he'd promptly make a face and spit it out. I decided it was time to find one that works so that Dave will be able to plug him up while he juggles three kids during sacrament mtg as I smile down from the stand. lol. So, I bought a bunch yesterday and he liked one style and just went to town. It's quite the relief. (If you saw me leave sacrament mtg like 12 times last week, you'd understand. I do not enjoy being a human pacifier)

-The sun was out yesterday and we went for a long walk at this really cool park with my sister.

-Gabe's cheeks are now slightly rosy as opposed to bright red and he's spitting up much less than usual. He also put on like 10 lbs overnight. (okay, maybe not that much but he's suddenly really heavy)

-Dave has a normal job with normal hours and comes home every single day by 6 PM. At his old job it wasn't uncommon for him to work until 10PM or later. We eat dinner as a family and I love it. (and as a side note, I've made dinner every day for over a week...those of you who know me should be impressed!)

Crappies:
-Nathan and Aria are going stir crazy. I have imposed a 1 hr xbox limit on Nathan and he now constantly asks "Mo-om, what can I dooooo?" while looking longingly at the xbox. I need to get them involved with dance and sports and things, but we can't afford it yet.

-The IRS thinks we owe them $5000. Fortunately Dave's brother-in-law is an accountant and we only owe them $7.

-I'm still on that TED diet and I'm getting really sick of plain chicken and baked potatoes. Ugh.

-For some reason I'm just cranky. I would so love to have even 30 minutes completely alone. I can't even shower without Aria poking her head in to see what I'm doing or tattle on Nathan.

-Speaking of Aria...I think I'm going to sell her to the gypsies. 3 is not my favorite age. Yesterday at the grocery store she threw a full on kicking/screaming tantrum on the floor in the produce section. Yup...fun stuff. Did I mention that was her third tantrum that day? Oh, how appropriate, she's throwing one right now.

Silly baby

I love babies.

I love their smiles, their laughs, their coos, their cuddles and especially their antics.

Gabe is almost 5 months old and he has a new trick that cracks me up. He has a play mat that he loves to play on. Whether he's on his back or his tummy, there is something to play with. Then....he learned how to roll.

So we have a new game. I lay him down on his back and he plays for a few minutes. He'll then roll to his tummy and play for a bit longer. Then he rolls away. He keeps rolling until he can no longer roll. This happens when he runs into things. The desk, the couch, the chair, his swing, the TV stand, a toy, a video, the wall.

Apparently he doesn't realize he can roll the other way yet. So, he just keeps trying. He's certain that if he tries enough, the barrier will be removed and he can roll to his hearts content. The constant butting into a wall is frustrating if his wails of anger are any indication.

So, I go save him. I pick him up, give him a little cuddle and lay him back down where the toys are.

Then we do it all over again.

My Little Princess

Aria is conflicted. She loves her older brother so much and can't stand to be away from him. As a result, she's decided that she wants to be a boy. She thinks boys get to do more stuff. No amount of talking on my part has convinced her that girls can do anything a boy can do.

We stopped at a rest stop once and Dave took Nathan to the mens restroom, while I led Aria to the womens. She wailed and cried and screamed

"I WANT TO GO THE MENS!" over and over. I got her to sit on the toilet and she wouldn't go because she was SO upset. Finally out of desperation I said

"YOU ARE IN THE MENS!"

She stops and looks at me. "I'm in the mens?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Nathan and Daddy are in the womens?"

"Yes."

*giggle* "okay" and she went to the bathroom and we left.

Then, of course, her and Nathan got into an argument about who was really in the mens bathroom.

Her latest is her firm declaration that girls can't do sports. Only boys. So, my sister got out all her old sports pics of her and I playing soccer, softball and basketball. I don't know if we convinced her, but I'll be signing her up for something soon!

Aria:
Favorite color - pink
Favorite movies - Cinderella and the Little Mermaid
Greatest Ambition - to be a boy

I guess she'll have to settle for being a girl that can do everything. And really, they're way cooler than boys anyday.

Rotten Bananas

"Last one out is a rotten egg!"

My mom used to hollor this statement at us kids (there are 5 of us) when she wanted us to hurry. It never failed. Normally pokey children were transformed into a blur of feet. Shoving, pushing, jumping, just trying to not be the rotten egg.

She was here visiting us last week and she made that statement with a slight variation to my kids.

"Last one out is a rotten banana!"

And my kids stopped. in. their. tracks.

"I want to be the rotten banana!"

"NO! I'm gonna be the rotten banana!" said with all the drama and whine you can muster.

Yeah, didn't work so well on my kids. So, with another slight change she managed to get them to hurry.

"FIRST one out is a rotten banana!"

*whoosh*....there they blow! I just used it to get them in the tub and it's still working well!

Thanks Mom!

TED

Who is Ted, you ask? I have no clue. Well, that's not true, I knew a guy named Ted when I was in high school. But that's not the point of this post.

TED stands for Total Elimination Diet. My avoidance of dairy and wheat are not getting results, so starting today, I'm on a total elimination diet. That means the only things I can eat are...

Chicken
Turkey
White Potatoes
Sweet Potatoes
Rice
Millet
Green Squash
Yellow Squash
Pears
Calcium Supplement

That's it. I read that Spinach is often okay, so I'll probably keep eating that because I get anemic easily. I'll be doing this until his symptoms subside, which from all accounts I've read should be less than 2 weeks, and then I add foods in one at a time, and watch for reactions.

*sigh*....here we go!

There's nothing left to eat!

Ugh...Gabe is allergic to something. Or maybe everything. Not sure yet. I have completely eliminated all things dairy and wheat from my diet. I'm about to add nuts and soy to the list. His poor cheeks are so red and he spits up so much!

So, why is it that I can eat like this when it's his health at stake and not for my own? Let's see...things I can no longer eat.

Ice Cream
Chocolate
Bread
Donuts
Pancakes
Peanut Butter
Granola Bars
Tomato Soup (did you know it has wheat in it? I didn't either)
Pasta
Tortillas
Cheese
Brownies
Cake
Sour Cream
Cream Cheese
Bagels
Muffins
Anything pre-packaged

and the list goes on and on... Tonight I had Spaghetti Squash with organic Marinara Sauce and steamed broccoli. Fortunately, I'm losing weight. At least there's something good coming out of this.

Marking his territory

This move has been somewhat difficult for my children. There has been so much going on and they're just caught in the middle of it all.

A week and a half before we moved, we ran out of oil to heat our house. We were almost packed so we finished up, packed some suitcases and spent 2 nights at a friends house, then a week at my in-laws house.

While we were at our friends house, the flu found us. Nathan and Aria started throwing up. A lot. It was bad for a day, but they continued to throw up once a day for almost a week. After we got to the in-laws, I got the flu, followed immediately by a cold.

So for over a week, we sat around sick in places that weren't home, lived out of suitcases, watched TV and played video games.

The video games kept Nathan sane I think. We have a game system that he plays regularly and he made a comment that it was following us while we "moved all over the world."

Finally we got the call that we could sign the papers on our new house. Then the fun began. Our rental truck was not there so I started making phone calls. Somehow I managed to find an available truck for that night. I also got permission to move into our house before it closed, so we packed (in the pouring rain) and left around 9:30 PM. Five hours later, we arrived at my sisters (the clack house) and tried to sleep a bit. We got up the next morning, signed the papers and drove the truck to the new house to unload.

Since it was 1PM on a Tuesday and everyone was at work, we didn't have a lot of help. Four retired gentlemen from our new ward were kind enough to lend a hand. Aria kept them in line. One man sat down, our of breath and sweating profusely, and Aria pointed to him and said "that guy isn't helping!" After a good laugh and a large glass of water, he went back to work. Really, I was very grateful for them. We had 4 old guys, Dave (who is diabetic and his blood sugar went low during the unpacking), a friend who just had knee surgery and couldn't do much and my brother-in-law. The only able bodied male in the house. Between them and me and my mom (we took turns unpacking and holding the baby) we got it done in about 2 hours. As soon as it was done Dave left and drove back to where we came from so he could finish working at his old job. Leaving me with 3 kids, a house full of boxes and my mom. Thank goodness for her or I'd probably still be sitting in a house full of boxes.

The next day I noticed something odd. We have 3 toilets and 2 bathtubs in our house. Each one had yellow puddles in and around them. All I can figure is Nathan decided he'd had enough of moving all over the world and was placing his mark on our final destination. This is his territory and he's staying put.

Fortunately, he hasn't done it since. lol

Helllooooo, internet world!

I've missed you! 2 weeks is way too long to be without internet. I didn't know what to do! I'd need a phone number and wander around lost because I couldn't go to dexonline to get it. I wanted a specific toaster from Target and when I found out they were out at my local store I actually called my sister and made her order it for me online! (It should be here soon). Then I had to enroll Nathan for Kindergarten and I didn't know where the school was. Map? What's that? I need to look up the school address and then mapquest it!

There were a lot of bloggable events that occurred over the last two weeks...so I'll be back with stories soon!