Girlfriends

Women can be a funny bunch. Especially in groups. More than once my husband has rolled his eyes or left the room when I have other women around. Although, I hosted a baby shower last week and when it was over he said it was the quietest party he'd ever heard. There's a reason for this, which I'll get to in a moment.

However, we women need other women. We understand each other. We often know what the other is going through and we can empathize. We validate each other, we offer our shoulder to cry on, we call just to chat. We even adapt to each others cycles when we spend a lot of time together. These are things that women need. In my life there are different catagories of girlfriends. Let's explore them.

The Old Friends.
My oldest friend is someone that I met when I was 2. We were best friends until she moved away right before we turned 12. We did everything together. I have pictures of us at easter egg hunts when we were toddlers (wearing foofy dresses and hats). Our birthdays were only 2 weeks apart. We went camping together, we had sleepovers, we spent our pocket change at this little store by her house and we got into trouble together. There was this one time that we called Santa Clause. My friend said she had his number, so we dialed it. I have no idea who we called, but they totally played along. We spoke to Mrs. Clause and Santa. Later my friend's mom told us that information called and told her we were playing with the phone and to stop us. (looking back, I'm not sure how that's possible...she probably made it up so that we'd listen.) Even after she moved away we kept in touch. We wrote and called. The summer of our sixteenth birthdays she came to visit and we went to EFY together. Now we tend to just email with major updates, but she'll always be my first and oldest friend.

The High School Friends
High School is a strange time. It's a time when many of us are trying to define ourselves. These are years when we'll probably lose as many frienships as we gain. Other girls often represented competition in high school. There were the pretty girls, the smart girls, the funny girls, the athletic girls, the musical girls and the girls that were after our boyfriend. ;-) I havn't stayed in touch with many of my high school friends. I occasionally swap updates with some, but no more than that. Fortunately, the turbulance of high school can also produce the next catagory of girlfriend.

The True Friends
I came out of high school with two true friends. These two girls saw me at my best and my worst. We were in many of the same school activities and we became very close over the years. We were inseperable. Their homes were second homes to my own. We are actually three very different personalities, but we complimented each other well. We went on after high school to be roomates and we still do our best to stay in touch. These are two women that I could call after any length of time and still have a friendly ear to talk to. Distance and time don't matter with true friends. They'll always be there for you.

The Aquaintance
The aquaintance is generally someone whom you have a common bond with and enjoy each other, but don't make an effort to spend time together or keep in touch. This was the reason for the quiet baby shower. The women that came were all very nice women and we had a common bond (in this case our religion). We had plenty to talk about and we very much enjoyed ourselves as we ate "girl food" and chatted about inconsequential things. But there's no depth with an aqaintance. Aquaintances come and go throughout our life with no real sorrow as we move on with our own lives.

The Sister
The sisters in our lives are those friends that we'll always have. These are women that accept you no matter what. It's okay to disagree and argue with these women because you always forgive each other. Our sisters care about our day to day joys and struggles. Our sisters know everything about us and love us anyway. We feel like something is missing if we go more than a few days without talking to our sisters. There are 5 women in my life who fall into this catagory.

First, my mom. My mom has been through more than I even know in her life. She's risen up to become a strong and amazing woman. She's kind and loving and will drop anything for me if I need her. She's like an older sister only better.

Second and third are my real sisters. Growing up we had normal sibling relationships (including some serious rivalry), but now they're two of my best friends. We talk on the phone almost daily. When we get together we talk and laugh and cry. We have so much fun together and soon we'll all be living in the same city!

Fourth is a friend that I had an instant bond with. We were paired through our church as visiting teaching companions almost 6 years ago and we became fast friends. We've talked about everything under the sun, we had our kids at the same times, I was even at one of her births! I've never wondered if I could call her for a favor. She has always delivered.

Fifth is actually someone that I've never met in real life. We met through an LDS moms internet message board and found a deep friendship. We email almost daily and have talked through all sorts of things. She's been there for things that I couldn't talk to others about and we found so much in common. Which leads me into one more group of friends.

The Internet Friends
This is not a catagory for everyone, but I've found a deep fulfillment with my internet friends. For five years now I've been posting with the same women on various LDS moms message boards. They provide my daily dose of grown-up conversation. They have helped me make many little decisions over the years. They have debated parenting tactics, politics and even religion with me. They've sent cards and RAKs (random acts of kindness). They provide a space to share silly trivial things and things that I can't talk about in real life. Sure, I can admit that I'm addicted to the internet. But I would truly miss these women if I wasn't able to post with them anymore. In fact, it was one of these friends that challenged those of us with blogs to write about our girlfriends.

So, here's to my friends. Old, new and in between. I love you!